


Tell Me What You Want

by carolelained



Category: due South
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:48:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26813158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolelained/pseuds/carolelained
Summary: Fraser finds out what Ray really wants from him.
Relationships: Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Tell Me What You Want

**Author's Note:**

> I write out of boredom mostly and it gives me something to do, well other than reading so many great stories too. I just want to thank everyone for all the encouragement too, also all the due south fans for their kind welcome into this fandom.  
> I'm also on Instagram as carolelained70 and Tumblr as allthingsckr

Tell Me What You Want

By CarolelaineD

Another day with Fraser taking so many risks as usual, how the hell could he think he was indestructible against flying bullets all the time. Okay, so far, he’d been lucky but that wasn’t the point as luck could run out sooner or later. All it did was piss me off, Fraser’s my friend and I wasn’t prepared to lose him because of his own belief that he could take on the world.

I’d decided to tell him that he was taking too many risks and that it was pissing me off, I’m his partner and the time had come to communicate with the stubborn Mountie. Fraser had gone back to the Consulate and I planned to pick up later after work, so as usual I was stuck with all the paper work when Fraser was far better at it than me. Well at least it gave me some time to think about later and how I’d word my concern to him, ha, then later I pulled up outside the consulate and my big speech went straight outta the window.

“Good evening, Ray.”

“Yeah whatever, just get in Frase, will ya.”

“As you wish, Ray.”

“I decided we can go back to my place and order some food, ya okay with that, Frase?”

“Very much so, yes, Ray.”

“We need to talk, Frase.”

“What about, I wasn’t aware that there was a problem, Ray.”

“No ya wouldn’t see a problem Frase, would ya, look we’re talkin okay so get that into that head of yours.”

“Understood, Ray.”

Well it looked like Fraser was going to give me the silent treatment now, and that pissed me off even more so I put the pedal to the metal and ignored him. Yeah right, it was hard to ignore him when I saw the looks and knew he was just dying to say something to me.

“Out with it, Frase.”

“Ray, are you trying to break every driving law? Just as a member of the…”

“Shut it right there Frase, ya have no right to tell me that. Shit I may be broken Frase, but I damn well ain’t stupid.”

“Please try and calm down, Ray, that or I will have to insist on walking the rest of the way.”

“Oh, that is so rich coming from you, ya can only risk yer life when it suits you. Well fuck you and fuck what ya think.”

I pressed my foot down even farther and even failed to stop at the next red light, that one wasn’t intentional and I wasn’t even paying any attention. At this rate I’d crash the car or get arrested for dangerous driving, on the upside Frase sat there without even opening his mouth. Well it only lasted until we were inside my apartment, then Fraser lost it and I’d never seen Fraser this pissed off with me before.

“I have had enough of this reckless behavior, Ray; you have risked both of our lives with the way you drove over here. I will not let you behave this way anymore, as there are other people out there too, Ray. How would you feel if you hit another car, maybe one that had a family inside and children too?”

“That’s low even for you, Frase…”

“Answer the question, Ray.”

“Go to hell, Frase.”

“You are acting irrational and so unlike yourself, has something happened that I’m unaware of?”

“Whoa, the Mountie finally hit the nail on the head.”

“Talk to me then, Ray, tell me what’s bothering you so I may be able to help.”

“Oh jeez, it’s you Frase, yer what’s bothering me.”

“Me?”

“Yeah you and yer super Mountie act.”

“I’m sorry but I don’t follow you, Ray.”

“Ya think ya can take on the world Frase, ya walk up to people with guns and they could kill ya.”

“It’s not like that at all, Ray.”

“Oh, so you can risk yer life and that’s greatness, I speed and ya behave all uptight.”

“That’s different, Ray.”

“How is it Frase, come on out with it.”

“I risked my life to help save people Ray, you on the other hand…Well that was totally reckless and didn’t benefit anyone.”

“Don’t do that Frase, ya make me out to be the bad guy here.”

“Well Ray…”

“Frase, admit that what ya did was wrong, that or I’ll kick ya in the head.”

“Ray, have you ever listened to yourself?”

“Whoa so this is all on me, come on then Frase out with it all. Ya might as well tell me exactly what ya think of me, as I damn well ain’t clever enough to figure it out myself.”

“Ray, I have no idea what you’re talking about, you’re my friend and this has to stop right now.”

I had never felt so small and useless as I did right now, I suppose I was used to it from Stella and that was one of the reasons we’d divorced. Frase though was different and it fuckin hurt so much, he always had to speak down to me like I was stupid or something. I was angry and I really wanted to hit someone or something right now and that wasn’t good, well considering Fraser was the only other person here.

I hadn’t realized that I was backed up against the door until Fraser came right up to me, he was waving his finger around and still lecturing me on my behavior and I refused to listen to him. I even started humming and put my hands over my ears, he was so not putting this all on me.

“Ray, Ray, Ray…”

“I’m not listening.”

“Ray, you are acting so immature and you must see that.”

“Yeah, it’s always me, it could never be you that’s wrong could it Frase?”

Then suddenly Fraser moved into my space and grabbed of my hands to move them, he pulled them away from my ears and moved them down to my sides. Shit I never even gave it any thought at all, I just brought my fist up and punched him in the jaw.

XXXXXXXXXX

I couldn’t believe that Ray had just punched me like that and I wanted to leave, be as far away from Ray and the pain that he’d caused. Not that I could do that though as he was my friend, and just watching him like this hurt far more than I thought possible. Ray had leant against the door and then slowly slid down it, now he was sat on the floor and looking somewhere in the distance.

“Ray, Ray, Ray…”

Nothing, Ray just pulled up his knees and wrapped his arms around them as he started into the distance. Then to make it worse, his head dropped down and he buried his face in his arms so I couldn’t even see him. For now, I decided to leave him where he sat while I got a cloth, one look in the mirror made me remember that Ray was a good boxer and something had to be wrong that I didn’t know about. Ray would never strike someone like this unless he was upset or angry, yet it all seemed aimed at me and I had no idea what I’d done.

I finally walked back into the room to find Ray still sat there with his head still down, and now I had to decide whether to go to him or leave, I suppose I was scared he might strike me again and then we might not come back from it. In the end I decided to take my chances with Ray and his mood swings, I knelt down in front of him and was even afraid to touch him. Ray was like some wild animal at times and I didn’t want to startle him.

“Ray, talk to me.”

“Frase, I think ya should leave.”

“Ray, I can’t leave until we deal with this. You’re my friend and I don’t want to lose what we have; we came close once before and I’m not going through that again.”

“Thanks for reminding me of that Frase, yeah the time I hit ya and vowed I’d never do it again.”

“Ray…”

“No don’t say anything Frase, I should never have hit ya… so feel free to hit me if ya want.”

“I’m not hitting you Ray, I did it once and that nearly destroyed me.”

“Yeah, well I deserve it.”

“Ray, please look at me.”

Ray lifted up his head and straight away I saw the tears on his gorgeous face, it hurt because Ray had lost his radiant smile and looked so lost. Normally he was the one who could always make me smile with his outgoing personality, I’d never met anyone before that was like him and that was why I wasn’t willing to give up on him.

“I’m so fuckin sorry, Frase…”

“Oh Ray, maybe you shouldn’t work with me if it makes you feel like this.”

“Shit, is that what ya really want, Frase?”

“No of course not, I just can’t work with you if it will result in this. You’re my friend Ray and I don’t want to see you hurt this way.”

“It’s not you, Frase.”

“Are you sure about that Ray? It’s just you gave me the impression that it was me and my behavior.”

“Okay, so ya want the truth Frase?”

“Very much so, yes, Ray.”

“Ya risk yer life all the time and it scares the shit outta me, I’m scared I lose ya, Frase…”

“Ray, wouldn’t it have been far easier to talk then before it reached this stage?”

“I tried Frase, but ya never listen to me.”

“Maybe we both need to work harder then and talk more.”

“Yeah I guess, Shit I hit ya Frase and I can’t take that back.”

“I’ll survive, Ray, and maybe I did deserve it in one way or another. Of course, I’m not saying that you should do that every time that I annoy you.”

“I know and I really wish it hadn’t gone that far, Frase.”

I stood up and held out my hand to help Ray up, and he just sat there watching me and at first, I thought he wasn’t going to take it. Then I was just about to drop my hand when he grabbed it and let me pull him up, I then pulled him into my arms and held him tight against me. It wasn’t planned and I just wanted to make everything okay, make Ray realize that I didn’t blame him for what had happened.

Ray just stood there in my embrace without even fighting me or shoving me away, I could smell the unique smell that was him along with the smell of his hair gel. It wasn’t very often that I managed to get this close to Ray and I didn’t want to let him go, well that was until I realized my body was reacting to having him so close. I hadn’t lied to Ray when I said I found him attractive, he was gorgeous and I would make love to the man in a heartbeat if he let me.

This was totally the wrong way to think while he was stood here in my arms, especially as I wouldn’t act on the feelings I held for my partner. I worked with Ray and loved him with all my heart, that was why I couldn’t act as I’d rather have friendship than nothing at all. I had a feeling I’d repulse Ray if he knew the secret I kept to myself and I couldn’t risk it, this was a secret that was mine and mine alone.

“I’m okay now, Frase.”

“Understood, maybe it was time I called it a night.”

“What about the food, shit we never even ordered anything to eat.”

“I’m okay Ray, I think we both need some time to sort ourselves out.”

“Yeah, I guess so. Do ya still want me to pick ya up in the morning, Frase?”

“Yes, I would like that, Ray.”

Finally, I let go of Ray and prayed that he’d be okay now and was over his little outburst. It was time for me to go back to the consulate before this got out of hand, tomorrow was another day and hopefully all of this would be forgotten.

XXXXXXXXXX

Fraser left and I realized nothing had really changed between us, I guess he was just going to blame me for everything and there was no arguing with the stubborn Mountie. I shouldn’t have lashed out though and I knew that was wrong, well hopefully come tomorrow everything would be okay once more.

Yeah right, I collected Fraser from the consulate, we then had to go question the local mob boss with regards to some rumors going around. Henry Rossini was well known for having very little patience with anyone, oh and also, he hated cops and anyone official. Well I had a job to do and that was all that mattered right now, so I flashed my badge and one of his men led us along a corridor towards a small office and we were told to wait.

“Frase, I’ll do the talking okay.”

“As you wish, Ray. I’m sure I could be of some help on the matter though and I could offer…”

“Frase, yer doing it again.”

I was just about to warn Frase when we were told to enter the room, there in front of us was a rather large desk with two chairs in front of it. My main concern though was the man behind the desk, Henry Rossini was a large man and had a reputation for using his fists too. Well I knew we were okay as I’d called in the location and Welsh knew we were here, not that I wanted to piss the man off though when it was just me and Fraser.

“Take a seat gentlemen, what can I do for the Chicago P.D?”

“Cut the crap Rossini, ya know why we’re here.”

“Ah Detective Vecchio, I see you still haven’t learnt to control that temper of yours.”

“Just cut the mumbo jumbo and tell me where ya were last night, well that or I can kick ya in the head.”

“Ray…”

“Shut it Frase, this is not the time okay.”

“You might want to listen to your partner, Detective Vecchio.”

“Just answer the question, or else.”

“Very well, I was at the Warehouse club on Metro street.”

“Did anyone see ya there?”

“At least a dozen people, so you might as well give up.”

“Yeah right, I know ya got them all to lie and I’ll prove it one way or another.”

“You don’t scare me, Detective.”

“Hmm we’ll see, I swear I won’t stop until yer behind bars.”

“Ray, I think we should leave.”

“Frase, do ya ever listen to me?”

“Get out of my office, detective.”

I leant over the desk and got right up in Rossini’s face, I didn’t like the man or anything that he had his hand in. The son of a bitch was as corrupt as they came and always got away with everything, well not this time as I planned to take him down.

“I will destroy you Rossini, yer goin down far sooner than ya think so don’t get too comfy sat there.”

“Get out of my face detective, that or I’ll have you charged with harassment.”

“Ya think this is harassment, you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

“Get out.”

Fraser grabbed hold of my arm and pulled me away from the desk, well I was ready to leave now anyway and I didn’t like Fraser acting this way. All Fraser did was undermine my authority when he acted that way, I was a detective and had a job to do without Fraser making me feel so small. I pushed my way past everyone and headed outside and towards my car, I was pissed off with a lot of things and Fraser was finally going to push me over the edge. I’d reached the car and realized that Fraser wasn’t even behind me, I looked around and saw him with one of Rossini’s men and heard the raised voices, the man was waving his gun at Fraser and yet he still just kept on pushing regardless of the outcome.

“Frase, get in the car.”

“Ray, I am just discussing a few things with this gentleman here.”

“Get this freak out of my face before I put a bullet in him.”

“He’s leaving right now, Frase fuckin move or else.”

Fraser finally moved and got in the car; I was just about to give him yet another lecture when my mobile went off. Great, straight away I knew it was Welsh and that meant trouble if he was calling me on my mobile.

“Detective Vecchio, what can I do for ya?”

“I’ve just received a complaint with regards to your behavior detective.”

“Whatcha talking about.”

“Henry Rossini is threatening to make an official complaint if you go near him again, drop it Vecchio as nothing good will come of perusing the man and you know it.”

“So, he just gets away with shit then?”

“You need proof detective, so I suggest you stay away unless you get some.”

“Yeah I get it.”

I hung up on Welsh and punched the steering wheel hard, I fuckin hated men like Rossini and how they got away with everything all the time. Shit, I realized that I also hated the way Fraser was looking at me right now too. Great, why did I have a feeling another lecture was coming my way.

“Ray, what you did in there was rather dangerous…”

“What, and you going up to an armed goon isn’t. Maybe ya should practice what ya preach Frase and leave me the hell alone, yer always bringing me down and making out I’m stupid or somethin.”

“Ray…”

“No Frase, this time I want some answers. I want to know why ya act so reckless and risk yer life all the time, and it’s not like ya even carry a gun either.”

“I may be somewhat reckless at times and I admit that, however my reasons are of no concern to you, Ray.”

“What…”

“You heard me; I am entitled to have a personal life Ray without telling you everything.”

“Great, so much for partners, Frase. If yer reckless it does concern me, how can we work together if yer acting this way?”

Frase just sat there watching me and then he looked away without saying a word, greatness what a fucked up partnership this had become. I hit the steering wheel a couple more times as I was really pissed off with Fraser now, I was just about to tell him when he opened the car door and started to get out.

“I think I need to return to the consulate, Ray.”

“Frase don’t do this, I can drop ya off if that’s what ya really want.”

“The fresh air will do me good, Ray.”

With that, Fraser closed the car door and walked away from it. I couldn’t get my head around any of this and things were going from bad to worse by the second. So, it would appear that he had some big secret and wasn’t even willing to tell me, so much for thinking we were buddies. Maybe later I could try and work Fraser out, for now I had a job to do and that was all that mattered until the end of the day.

I worked hard and was determined to set things right with Fraser, I would give him a call and see if I could get him to talk and spill the beans so to speak. Not that anything ever went as I planned, I was unlocking my apartment door when I felt something strike my hard and then there was only darkness.

XXXXXXXXXX

I took a slow walk back to the consulate as I wanted some time to think, I knew I was rather reckless and always had been with good reason. I couldn’t tell Ray my reason without losing him as a friend, I loved Ray and I realized I’d never felt this way about anyone before. Not that any of it mattered as I was losing him anyway, Ray was different too and his behavior was becoming somewhat alarming. Especially as I lied to myself when I said I loved him, it was more a case of being in love with him and that was why this was so hard.

I could still remember holding him in my arms and not wanting to let go either, as nothing would ever come of it anyway and Ray wouldn’t even want to be around me. Ha, it wouldn’t have worked even if he did want me in that way though, as Ray would find his life somewhat different if he were my lover. Well he wouldn’t be running around Chicago and behaving the way he is now, great, just the thought of having Ray where I wanted him was turning me on so much. His gorgeous body naked and cuffed to his bed, I’d make him promise me anything if I let him come.

Who the hell was I kidding, maybe a phone call would be rather inappropriate considering how we parted, no my mind was made up and I would go see him at his apartment so we could talk? First, I wanted to take a long hot shower and rid myself of the day’s grime, also there was something else I planned to do before paying Ray a visit.

I said good evening to Turnbull and made my escape before he started talking to me, Dief would need a walk before I left and I didn’t have time to stand around gossiping. I turned on the shower and stripped out of all my clothes and placed them in bag for the laundry, then I slipped under the warm water and my thoughts returned to Ray once more.

I imaging going to Ray’s apartment and shoving him up against the wall as I kissed him, I would force his lips apart and shove my tongue deep inside his warm mouth. I would silence his little outburst and kiss him until he could barely breathe. Now things had changed and I had Ray back on his bed once more, this time he was laying on his stomach with his hands cuffed above his head. He would lay there as I removed his boxers and bared his backside ready for his punishment, I raised my hand and slapped his ass hard until he moaned out and begged me to give him what he wanted.

Ray’s first lesson would be about patience and to accept his place in our relationship, that was to accept whatever I did to him without questioning me. I wanted to own Ray in every way possible, to make him realize that my love for him ran far deeper than words could ever explain. I had to make him realize that his life meant far more than he thought, losing Ray wasn’t something I was willing to accept.

Finally, I was knelt up behind his backside as I force two fingers deep inside his tight body, thinking about how it would soon be my cock that was going in that tight heat and how I’d come deep inside the man I loved more than anything. God, I grabbed my erection and soon worked up a rhythm, just thinking about taking Ray like that pushed me over the edge and I came fast and hard. I shuddered and then let the water wash away all the evidence of what I’d done, how once again my dark thoughts had got the better of me.

I’d mainly done it so that I wasn’t too strung out when I faced Ray, otherwise I might just end up taking what I wanted from him and that wouldn’t be good. Soon I was dressed in my jeans and a shirt, as I was hoping Ray would see it as less intense and realize I was his friend tonight and nothing more. First, I took Dief for a quick walk as I wanted to go see Ray before I changed my mind, Dief would want to come and I figured it would be easier with just Ray and myself. Maybe I could talk Ray into eating out with me, hmm then we could go back to his place and maybe have a pleasant evening together.

My mind was running away with me once more and it had to stop, especially as I knew what my idea of a good evening would entail. Soon I dropped off Dief and took a slow walk over to Ray’s apartment, it was still early evening and I wasn’t in a rush as Ray might not even be back home yet. When I did arrive, I found his apartment door partly open and that worried me, even more so when I knocked and received no answer from within.

I had no gun and would have to enter with caution, mainly because I didn’t want Ray to end up pulling his gun and shooting me by accident. From within there was no noise at all and the silence felt unnatural, Ray loved music or would at least have the television on in the background. Maybe he was in the shower and hadn’t realized the door was still open, well I would have to check and it’s not like I’d mind if I found him naked in the shower.

I pushed the door open slowly and walked in, that was when I realized I couldn’t hear the water running or anything. Then I walked farther in and saw Ray sprawled out on the floor unconscious, at first, I had to wonder if he were drunk or something until I turned him over. Ray’s eye was swollen and his face was covered in blood, there was even blood in his hair and it now looked dirty compared to normal. I tried to wake him without any success and decided to call for an ambulance, Ray wouldn’t like it but I wasn’t willing to take any chances with him. So, now all I could do was wait for the ambulance and then accompany the man I loved so much to the hospital.

XXXXXXXXXX

I opened my eyes and soon realized I was in a hospital, a quick look around and I also noticed that I wasn’t alone either. There sat on a chair was Fraser and he was reading something or other, well I wasn’t ready to deal with all his questions right away as my head was pounding. So, I lay here as still as possible watching my partner while I could, he was gorgeous when he looked somewhat rough around the edges.

Then I remembered about our disagreements and how they were becoming far more frequent too, it didn’t help that I fell in love with a man that could never give me what I wanted and needed right now. I was so lost in thought and hadn’t even realized Fraser was now watching me watch him, then I turned my head away as fast as I could and forgot about the head injury.

“Fuck…”

“Language, Ray.”

“Jeez Frase, ya could be a bit lenient now and then.”

“Ray, manners are something that should never be forgotten.”

“Frase, my head hurts and yer not helping.”

“Understood, Ray. Would you like me to get something for you?”

“Yeah, get me my clothes, Frase. So I can get the hell outta here.”

“Ray, you have a severe concussion and will have to remain here for a few days.”

“It’s just a headache Frase, come on help me out will ya.”

“I’m helping by making sure you stay, Ray.”

“Fuck this…”

I went to sit up and my head started pounding even more if that were possible, then my chest and arms were in agony too. What the fuck had happened to me and why couldn’t I even remember, I didn’t like this one bit when I realized I couldn’t leave. Oh, and to make it worse, Frase came over to the bed and placed a hand on my shoulder holding me there.

“Ray, please don’t fight this.”

“What the hell happened to me, Frase?”

“It would appear that you were assaulted, Ray.”

“No shit.”

“Ray, please. It would appear that you were hit over the head and then kicked repeatedly. You are very lucky Ray, at least there are no broken bones and you can leave in a few days.”

“Yeah and I bet it was one of Rossini’s men that did it.”

“We believe so, there was a witness who saw the man leaving your apartment, Ray.”

“It doesn’t matter, at the end of the day Rossini will walk as he always does.”

“You’re off the case, Ray, Lieutenant Welsh has said that your too close to him and it puts you at risk.”

“Like hell I am.”

“Ray.”

“Forget it, Frase.”

I sat there thinking about what had happened when we visited Rossini, Welsh had no reason to pull me off the case as I hadn’t done anything wrong. And what sort of cop would I be if he did that every time I spoke to someone, I spent the best part of my life interrogating people so why was this any different. Oh god, and then I looked up and realized the reason was sitting opposite me. Fraser must have said something to Welsh, and now because of that he wanted me off the damn case.

“Frase, what did ya do?”

“Sorry, I don’t understand, Ray.”

“Don’t give me that crap Frase, ya must have said somethin to Welsh as no one else knew how close I was on this case.”

“I may have told him that you were digging very deep on this case and had found out certain things, also I did mention how your visit went with Rossini.”

“For fucks sake, Frase.”

“Ray, Rossini himself had even made a complaint and you were well aware of that.”

“Yeah, yeah, but now ya made it worse, Frase.”

“My main concern is your welfare, Ray.”

“Yer not my father Frase, ya have no right to do that to me.”

“No, I am your partner and your friend, Ray.”

“Yeah, whatever Frase. You’ve spent the last week or so bitchin about everything that I do.”

“Where you punished as a child, Ray?”

“What the fuck…”

“You have this reckless streak that will get you killed one day, and I was wondering if you got your own way as a child. You push all the time and seem to think you may do as you wish, maybe you need to be taught a lesson in behavior, Ray, as actions have consequences.”

“Is that what ya think, Frase, ya slap my backside a few times and I’ll be a good little boy.”

“Ray…”

“No Frase, ya think yer so better than me all the time and I’m sick of it.”

“I’m sorry that you see me like that Ray, so I take it you want me to let you behave as you see fit, that I’m to just stand by and watch you take risks all the time.”

“Frase, look I have my own way of punishing myself so stop worrying.”

“As you wish, Ray. I will try to refrain from telling you what to do.”

“Thanks, Frase.”

“I suggest you punish yourself harshly this time in whatever way you see fit.”

“Yeah whatever, I just need some sleep Frase and I’ll be good to go.”

“Very well, I will go stretch my legs while you rest.”

Great, I knew that was the Mounties way of telling me that he planned to return and stay here with me. And yeah, I knew that he was right and I needed to be punished, not that I could tell Fraser how I would be punished or where I went either. I’d started visiting a club back when I was with Stella, it was nothing sexual as I was faithful to her and wouldn’t do that. The option was there but it was something else I searched for, I wanted someone to punish me for all my fuck ups in life.

Then Stella left and I realized going there turned me on, having someone restrain me and put me in my place. Oh yeah, I could be a kinky bastard at times and I actually got off on it all. Fraser was so fuckin uptight and perfect in every way, and that was why he wouldn’t make a good partner even if he did love me.

Fraser was straight and it wasn’t wise letting him know about any of my secrets, well not unless I wanted him to have me locked up in a padded cell somewhere. No, I would recover and then return to the club and seek out what I needed there.

XXXXXXXXXX

It had scared me when I’d found Ray in his apartment unconscious and that was why I wanted him off this case, and I was so relieved when he finally woke up and was his usual self. Ray moaning was something that made me know he was alright, I guess it was also one of the many things that I loved about him. And now I was taking a walk outside to clear my head and think about all the things he’d said, and I was afraid to go too far as Ray might leave if I left him alone too long.

I’d warned the nurse that it was a possibility, Ray didn’t like hospitals and didn’t like staying still either. So, it looked like I would have to stay here regardless of whether Ray wanted me here or not. I would even sleep in the corridor if it meant keeping him safe, and I would have reason to do so. Ray was a police officer and the person could return to attack him once more, and Welsh had ordered me to make sure Ray stayed so he would back me up.

Well eventually it was time to return to his room and check he was still there, to my surprise he was actually fast asleep and didn’t even wake as I entered. Soon I was joined by one of the nurses who’d come in to give him a bed bath, that was when I realized I might have to leave once more.

“Would you like me to leave?”

“I take it you’re Constable Fraser?”

“Yes, I’m Ray’s partner.”

“I’m Stacey, and actually I’d like you to stay if that isn’t too much trouble.”

“No, I can stay if that’s what you wish.”

“Actually, I have an ulterior motive.”

“Ahh, I see.”

“I hurt my wrist on one of the beds, and then just to make it worse we’re short staffed… I was kinda hoping you could help me.”

“It would be my pleasure, what is it you would like me to do?”

“I just wanted you to sit him up while I wash his back, that’s if you’re okay with that.”

“I might be, however I’m unsure of Ray and he might wake up rather annoyed.”

“Yeah I thought of that, so I gave him his meds early and he’ll be out of it for hours.”

“Hmm, so you planned ahead then?”

“Yeah, so are you willing to help me.”

“Yes, very much so.”

The nurse sat Ray up and removed the gown as I held him upright, now I was starting to wonder why I agreed as this was sheer torture. To have Ray in my arms and unable to do anything else, well I soon changed my mind when his chest was resting against me and his head was pressed against my shoulder. I couldn’t even resist brushing against one of his nipples as I lay him back down, and all that did was cause my pants to become rather restricting around my groin.

How could I not be turned on with Ray laying here looking so gorgeous, then the nurse pulled back the sheet and I had all on not to moan out loud. I guess it had slipped my mind that he might only be wearing his boxers, then my eyes were glued to his body as the nurse pulled away the last thing that separated him from my view. Now I just stood here transfixed as the nurse lifted up his penis and cleaned his groin, deep down I was imaging that it was my own hand holding him there and stroking him until he became hard. The thought of having him in my hand to do with as I pleased, then I was brought back to reality as the nurse spoke.

“Constable Fraser, are you sure you’re alright.”

“Yes, sorry, I was miles away.”

“I need to get some more clean water and another gown; I’ll only be a couple of minutes and wondered if you can roll him on his side?”

“Please, go and get what you need, I will see that Ray comes to no harm or falls off the bed.”

The nurse left and I did as she asked, and admittingly it was hard having to watch where I placed my hands upon his body. That was when I knew how much I loved this man, especially as I could touch him without him even knowing about it. However, the only thing I wanted to do right now was kiss him. The nurse still hadn’t returned and I decided to take my chances, Ray’s lips were rather dry and very warm, and I couldn’t help myself as I slipped my tongue inside his tempting mouth. At first, I didn’t want to stop what I was doing, then Ray suddenly moaned and I moved back and tried not to look flustered.”

“Frase…”

Not that it would matter though as he was still fast asleep, and I guess it was just a shock that he had called out my name. Well we were partners after all so maybe that was it, thankfully I looked somewhat respectable when the door opened and the nurse returned.

“Sorry I took so long, how are things going in here?”

“Fine, Ray is ready for you to finish up now.”

The nurse finished washing him and put a clean gown on him, soon she then left and it was just myself and Ray once more. I looked at him and part of me felt guilty for taking advantage of him, only part though. I was glad I did what I did as I’d never get to touch him in that way again, I would have to hide it away with all the other many secrets I kept hidden from Ray and everyone else. I’d had a temporary lapse of sanity and knew I could lose Ray as my friend if this ever got out, maybe things would return to normal once Ray was up on his feet and I wasn’t expected to deal with him while he was naked.

XXXXXXXXXX

I’d slept and at least my head felt somewhat better, then I looked around the room and realized Fraser was still here and sat back in the chair. I had no idea why the hell he didn’t just go home like a normal person, it wasn’t as if I were dying here. Hmm, that meant he was here to make sure I stayed put and didn’t go back home. Well that just pissed me off even more, it wasn’t like I needed a babysitter or something.

“Frase, are ya still here.”

“It would appear so, Ray.”

“Ya shoulda gone home, it’s not even like I’m good company and all I do is sleep.”

“Your body needs the rest Ray, that was why they gave you something to help you sleep.”

“Yeah I guess, all I want is to get outta this bed and grab a shower.”

“Ray, the nurse came and gave you a bed bath and I’m afraid that will have to suffice for now.”

“Jeez couldn’t they have done it while I was awake, I might a enjoyed some nurse giving me a wash?”

“Ray, please behave yourself; this is a hospital after all.”

“Chill, Frase.”

Sometimes I wish Frase would just lighten up a bit and go with the flow, as for me, I was the clown and always had to open my mouth and offend the man in one way or another. Oh, and what do ya know, today is no exception and once again Ray Kowalski manages to upset the Mountie.

“What’s up Frase, ya jealous or somethin?”

“Ray…”

“I bet ya wanted to do it yourself didn’t ya, especially as ya always like to be the one in charge and help everyone.”

“Ray, I’m warning you.”

“It was a joke Frase, ya know hardy ha ha.”

“Well I didn’t find it funny, Ray.”

“Yeah obviously, why are ya really here, Frase?”

“I am here to look after you Ray, also to make sure you stay until your well enough to leave.”

“Ya have to go home at some point, Frase.”

Well what a joke that was, it turned out Fraser was one hell of a stubborn bastard at times. Three more days passed and he was still here and in this room with me, turned out Welsh said I needed police protection. Yeah well, they could lie to me all they wanted as I wasn’t stupid, if that were the case it would be the Chicago PD and the officers would work shifts. Fraser had only left the room to get something to eat, at night he’d slept in the chair and I never even got a say in anything he did anymore.

At least I was now able to use the shower and move around, the shower was good in many ways too. The warm water ran over my bruised body and eased the pain I still felt, at least it wasn’t as bad now and I’d soon be able to return to work. Also, the shower was good because I was a man and had needs. Somehow, I didn’t think Frase would take to kindly to me jerking off in the bed with him sat there.

That was something that I’d thought about though, it was hard not to when Fraser was sitting there straight in front of you and that would be bad. Frase watched me most of the time and I never got to move without him saying something, and that was normally him telling me to lay still and rest. Well I’d had enough of resting as my other needs were becoming more demanding. I was just thankful that the bathroom had a lock, especially as I became hard in seconds thinking about Fraser, I imagined him in the shower with me and down on his knees with my cock in his mouth. My hand worked up a rhythm as I closed my eyes and imagined it was Fraser, his mouth pushing me over the edge.

Then it was back to reality and that was leaving the small bathroom, I’d have to walk back out there in this stupid gown with my ass on show to everyone. To my surprise, the room was empty and of Fraser there was no sign, so I grabbed a pen and would write a list of things I would need Fraser to get me. It would give me a break and some room to move, and I needed the clothes to go home in anyway. Things were going well until I managed to drop the pen under the table, well there was no Fraser here so I would have to crawl under there and get it myself.

I’d just managed to reach the pen when I heard the door open, it wasn’t the noise that bothered me so much and it was more the sound of Frasers voice. The Mountie actually sounded shocked for once, and that was when I realized why too.

“Ray…”

“Fuck…”

I had to crawl backwards as it was the only way to get out and Fraser was right behind me, I’d forgotten all about the gown and how my partner had just got a good eye full of my ass. Then I had to go smack my head on the table when I finally went to get up, and that was when Fraser grabbed hold of me and turned me around to face him.

“Ray, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Ray, it was your head that you hit and it should be looked at, especially after you’ve just suffered a concussion.”

Fraser still had his hand on my arm and was fussing over me, shit then I realized his other hand was pressed against my lower back and I forgot what the hell he was saying.

“Ray, Ray, Ray, I will get the nurse as you seem rather unresponsive.”

“I’m good, Frase, just let me go lay on the bed okay.”

“Well I must admit that you do appear to have some more color Ray, you look rather radiant.”

Yeah well maybe having Frase that close did it to a person, especially after they just got to see you on all fours with your naked ass in the air. Whoa, that was something I didn’t want to think about when my body was so close to Frasers, hmm the same man I’d just jerked off to as well. I grabbed the piece of paper and shoved it in Frasers hand, all I wanted was for him to go get my stuff and then I could wallow away in my own self pity.

XXXXXXXXXX

For once, I was actually happy to be away from that room and Ray. He had to have noticed that I was bright red, how could I have not had immoral thoughts with a view like that right in front of my face. Ray had a gorgeous ass and I wanted him more than ever, and he was down on all fours and in a rather suggestive pose. My happiness was to be short lived though as I reached Ray’s apartment, everything here just screamed Ray at me and that made me realize I could never have him in the way I wanted.

I wanted to do so many things to him, I wanted to hold him in my arms and show him all the love that he deserves. Then part of me wants to keep him all to myself and out of harm’s way, well other than me that is. I want to teach Ray that reckless behavior will only lead to some form of punishment at my hand.

Normally I would have tried avoiding his bedroom, it was too close to what I wanted, and just the thought of Ray in that very bed naked. Not that I could avoid it this time as he was in need of clothing. That thought actually intrigued me somewhat, this was the perfect excuse to go through his drawers without seeming nosey, or like I was snooping. First, I would find out all his clothes and make sure I had everything that Ray would need, I didn’t want to get too distracted and leave something behind.

I opened the top draw and found all his underwear, I grabbed some clean boxers and spent a few minutes sorting all his socks into pairs so things would be easier, Not that I should have expected anything different when it came to Ray, one only had to look at his desk to know Ray didn’t deal too well when it came to organizing things.

Then I soon found one of his plain tee shirts that fit him rather snuggly, I loved to see Ray in those ones as he looked so down right hot and such a turn on. Finally, I managed to find him a clean pair of jeans too, which wasn’t easy as it looked like he hardly ever bothered doing the laundry. I came to realize that Ray was in need of a few basic lessons in life, along with a few that weren’t so basic. Well, all was done and now I just needed to find a bag to pack everything in. Ray was a police man and was bound to have some sort of overnight bag around here somewhere, maybe I would find it in the closet with the rest of his belongings.

Well, it would appear that his closet was as well organized as everything else. From all outward appearances, it looked as if Ray just opened the closet every now and again and threw everything inside. Not that it mattered, there on one of the shelves I found a hold all that looked a perfect size. I grabbed hold of it and dropped it onto the bed, I then decided to go into the bathroom to collect a few things for Ray.

The hospital had provided the basics like a toothbrush and things; however, this was Ray and he would require a few necessities prior to leaving the hospital. Well he did like to experiment with his hair and I do believe it makes him feel better about himself. Ray gives me the impression that he feels inadequate around a lot of people, so I don’t mind taking things that he sees as an extension to himself. Soon I have his comb and plenty of hair gel, then I grab his shaving kit unsure whether he’ll even want it. Well, in all honesty I love the rough look that Ray usually sports.

I decide that I’ve spent way too much time thinking about Ray and I might get too distracted and never make it back to the hospital. It was just hard as Ray’s such a sensuous creature by nature, and that was something I was lucky to see every day as his partner. Soon I was back in the bedroom and had everything ready on the bed, and then I opened the bag and realized it was near on impossible to not think of Ray and sex as one.

There in the bag were various objects designed for some sort of pleasure, well most was and I decided to look more closely as I was rather curious. Ray was my partner and I thought I knew everything there was to know about him. The bag told me how wrong I was, inside I found a rather large vibrator and a bottle of lubricant that was rather empty. There was also a spare pair of handcuffs along with a gag and blindfold, and let’s not forget the cock ring and nipple clamps.

My first thought was that Ray had some new women who was rather on the kinky side, and all that did was cause a sudden rush of jealousy to course through my body. To think of Ray with someone else hurt far more than I thought possible, despite knowing that I could never have him myself. Then my mind was thrown of course once more with the other items, there underneath everything were some magazines of the adult kind.

That in itself was not what had caught my attention, it was the fact that all the magazines had the same theme and that wasn’t some scantily clad dressed women. For one, all the pictures were of men and two they were all totally naked. They were all in sexual acts with other men, and their bodies were covered in sweat as they did various things to each other. Some of the photos showed men joined together in the act of sex, while others showed men with various things placed inside their willing bodies.

My mind was working overtime as I imagined it to be Ray in the picture, him laid there and willing to let me do as I please to his gorgeous body. To be able to run my tongue along his sweat covered chest and then down farther, not stopping until I reached his groin and what was hidden there. I placed the bag back on the shelf and closed the cupboard door behind me, I then searched the kitchen until I found an old paper bag that would have to do. As it was getting late and I knew I should return to the hospital and back to Ray, not that I knew how I’d be able to look him in the eye without seeing things I shouldn’t see.

XXXXXXXXXX

I was glad when Fraser had finally left and I had a moment to myself. It didn’t help that I’d felt so humiliated and wondered if I’d ever live this down. Then I remembered this is Fraser here and he was the polite Canadian, maybe I might get lucky and he would never mention it to me ever again. Turned out there was at least one upside to my day and for that I was thankful, the doctor had decided there was no point keeping me here any longer and I’m free to leave.

Well, I would need Fraser to return with my clothes first, that or I would have to leave in this stupid gown and that wasn’t acceptable at all. Hell, the gown was most likely gonna give me nightmares for the rest of my damn life. Hmm and then I had to wonder what Frase would do once I left the hospital, as here I couldn’t kick him out because of Welsh. Home was a different matter though; Fraser couldn’t take up residence there unless I let him.

No way could I be around Fraser all the time after this, also I had things to do that the uptight Mountie would not approve of. Shit, Frase would think even less of me if he saw some of the things I did at the club I visited. It would be him that was having the nightmares, and there was also the chance that he’d want to end our partnership too if he ever found out. It was hard enough when you liked men and were a cop, the kinky stuff would destroy everything that I had with Fraser. I was still sat there thinking about him when the door opened and he walked in, and I was really surprised when he just casually smiled at me.

“I’ve brought the things you requested, Ray.”

“Thanks, hey ya even brought my hair gel and a comb, Frase.”

“I know how much your hair means to you, Ray.”

“The doc says I can leave straight away, Frase.”

“Very good, Ray.”

“I’ll just go and quickly get dressed.”

“Would you like a hand, Ray?”

“What?”

“I asked if you would like some assistance.”

“Yeah I thought that’s what ya said, I’m good Frase and I can manage.”

“As you wish, Ray.”

Frase handed me the clothes and his thumb brushed lightly against my hand and I froze, something felt strange as he touched me and my skin tingled. Frase just stood there smiling at me as usual, yet for some reason everything felt different to me now. I was even starting to wonder if the head injury had caused some sort of damage, not that I was that much better before. Then I actually heard Frase laugh as I nearly tripped over in my hurry to get to the bathroom, and I was so glad once I’d finally closed the door behind me.

The Fraser I knew did not behave like this, not now and not ever. Then I realized getting dressed was far harder than I thought because of the bruises, but I’d manage as no way was I planning to ask Fraser for anything. It was bad enough that I had to go back out there and deal with him, maybe I could get the cab to drop him off at the consulate on my way home. Well it looked like I had a plan and that was good, so I opened the bathroom door and went back into the room so we could get the hell outta this place.

“Frase, do ya wanna call a cab, that way we can call at the consulate and then my place.”

“No need Ray, I took the liberty of bringing the GTO while I went to collect your clothes.”

“Cool, throw me the keys then, Frase.”

“Ray, you’re in no fit state to drive and I won’t allow it.”

“What?”

“You heard me, Ray.”

“Frase, how’s that supposed to work?”

“I don’t understand the problem Ray, I am after all a rather competent driver.”

“Hmm, if ya say so Frase. I’ll have to drive it from the consulate though, well otherwise you’d have to walk back.”

“Ray, I plan to call at the consulate and collect Dief. Then I will drive you home and stay there with you until you fully recover.”

“Frase, ya don’t have to trouble ya self like that.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble at all Ray, I’m actually looking forward to it.”

Great, I was officially screwed and there was no way of talking Frase outta this. The man was as stubborn as fuck once he was set on something, damn stubborn fuckin Mountie that never listened. I would never survive a few days of this, especially if he carried on behaving as he was now. Frase was still smiling and it wasn’t natural I tell ya, he was looking at me like he wanted to devour me or something.

“Ray. Ray, Ray…”

“What, Frase?”

“I asked if you’re ready to leave, Ray?”

“Yeah Frase, I’m ready.”

We got into the car and within no time at all I fell asleep, I did wonder if maybe it had something to do with Fraser’s driving. My turtle could go faster than Frase drove my car and that was saying something, I was just surprised I’d slept even when Frase had stopped the car and gone to get Dief. Maybe I was still rather weak and needed more sleep, that or it was all the meds they’d pumped into me while I was at the hospital. Even the stairs to my apartment took it out on my tired body, and it was more like climbing mount Everest than a few stairs. Frase was no longer smiling at me and that worried me too, he actually looked really concerned and maybe it was with good reason as I nearly collapsed.

“Ray, you need to get inside and go lay down for a while.”

“Yeah, I think yer right Frase. I just don’t feel too good and I’m feeling all funny.”

“It may be the medication, Ray.”

“Yeah maybe Frase, look just let me sleep some and then maybe I’ll be good to go again.”

“Understood, Ray.”

I went into my bedroom and collapsed on the bed, and I felt so good as this was my bed and I was finally back home. I could deal with Frase later on when I felt better, and all I wanted now was to close my eyes and think about nothing. It was actually working until Fraser walked into the bedroom, great it looked like there was nowhere at all to hide from the man.

XXXXXXXXXX

I’d insisted on driving Ray home and now I was glad I had, the man was exhausted and even struggling to remain awake on the journey home. That was why I was rather pleased when Ray actually listened and went to lie down for a while, I’d popped my head into the room to check he was okay and see if I could get him anything. Ray was laid out on the bed and looked like he would be asleep within no time at all, he’d removed the jacket and that was all.

“Ray, maybe you would feel somewhat better if you were to remove your boots.”

“Too tired, Frase…”

“Let me help you, Ray.”

“Ya don’t have ta Frase.”

“I insist, Ray.”

I moved to the end of the bed and ignored Ray’s moans about me having to do it, one day he might actually realize that I like helping him and want to do it. I even managed to pull his socks off too, oh I knew exactly what I was doing and I’d had it all planned since the hospital. Ray lay on his back with his eyes closed, and he didn’t even realize what I was doing until it was too late.

I’d moved up the bed and in one swift movement I moved, I’d purposely taken the jeans with the button fly to the hospital for Ray to wear. I knew that they would be far easier to pull open than a zip, especially as I’d also forgotten to take him a belt too. Ray’s eyes flew open and he went to sit up, yet within seconds I’d efficiently managed to pull them down his long legs and off.

“Shit, whatcha doin, Frase.”

“Making you more comfortable, Ray.”

“Hmm naked here, Frase…”

“I’m so sorry Ray, I thought you might have underwear on.”

“What Frase, the underwear that ya forgot to bring me!”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Ray. I must have left it behind without realizing it.”

“Hmm, yeah I bet ya did.”

That was another thing that I’d purposely done, I was well aware that Ray was naked under the jeans and that was why I’d removed them fast. Now though, Ray had wasted no time getting under the covers so he could hide from me. Well I would let him think what he wanted as he looked gorgeous when he was so confused, that was why I just smiled at him and then turned the lamp out as I left. It was only fair that I give him some time alone to deal with everything, also I had to remember that he’d suffered a head injury too.

My mind was brought back to the second head injury he’d received, the one where he’d hit it on the table when I’d entered the room. Thoughts of Ray on his hands and knees was not a good idea right now, well not unless I wanted to torture myself with thoughts of what I could do to him and the fun I could have.

I decided to use the bathroom and give my own face a wash, I would need to cool down and think of something else and that was when I remembered about Dief. I opened the bedroom door and found Ray in a deep sleep and knew he wouldn’t wake anytime soon. Maybe I could slip out and take Dief for a walk, I knew there was a bakery and I could grab something from there for Ray to eat once he wakes.

It was okay playing games with Ray, his health though was another matter and that was something I wouldn’t put at risk. I loved Ray and I loved the energy he had, and that was why the real games would have to wait a few more days unfortunately. I’d always wanted Ray, and now I had seen so much more of him and that just made me want him even more. It was hard enough having to pretend around him when he was fully dressed, yet here he was all exposed and I couldn’t unsee what I’d seen.

So, I left Ray to sleep and took Dief to the park, Ray wouldn’t be able to go too far even if he woke before I returned. In the end, I was gone for over two hours and returned to find Ray exactly where I’d left him. So, it looked like food would have to wait for now and that was okay as I had things to do. I gave Dief the food I’d bought him along with some water, then I decided to strip down to my own vest and boxer shorts as it was getting rather late.

Once done, I retrieved a spare blanket and a pillow from the closet and lay them out on Ray’s couch. Oh, don’t get me wrong, as I had no intention at all of sleeping there and it was more for appearance than anything. I opened the bedroom door once more and slipped inside the dark room, and at least I was good at remaining quiet and that would really help me out right now. Ray was still fast asleep and never woke as I slipped under the covers and lay beside him, I then gently pulled him close so he was resting against my chest.

I realized that at some point he’d woke and removed the tee shirt too, so now I had a very naked Ray in my arms and pressed up against my body. He’d moaned about something in his sleep before going silent once more, so this was heaven holding him without any fighting or resistance from him. Ray was gorgeous and I couldn’t resist kissing his forehead, then he moaned once more and I couldn’t miss the heat that his body was giving off right now. Hmm, nor could I miss his erection that was pressed up against my own thigh. That, or the way he started humping my leg despite that fact he was fast asleep, How I would love to be in his head and know what he was dreaming about, or should I say who he was dreaming about.

XXXXXXXXXX

I was starting to wonder if Fraser was doing everything on purpose, as first he’d seen my naked backside in the hospital. Then I remembered that Frase wasn’t even there when I dropped the pen and went to retrieve it, hell he was perhaps as shocked and embarrassed as I were. Then there was the jeans incident, maybe he really did think I had underwear under the jeans and hadn’t expected to see my cock either. I was starting to think it was me that had the problem and not Fraser, I fancied him and was now seeing everything he did as sexual.

I knew I had to cool it or I’d lose Fraser as a friend, I’d figured sleep would be my best friend for now and it might clear my head somewhat. Well nothing ever went to plan when it involved myself and how fucked up I am, well the first time was okay as I were still alone and was just far too warm. So, I decided to strip out of the tee shirt and go straight back to sleep. The second time was totally different though, I’d woke up hot and realized it wasn’t any form of clothing that was making me that way either.

Fuck, I was pressed up against a warm body that felt really good. No that wasn’t the problem though, it was the fact that I was naked and fuckin hard, oh god and it didn’t end there. I was pressed against Fraser of all people, and I was humping his leg and trying to get myself off while he slept. Maybe I could get out of the bed and Fraser would never even know what I was doing, not that I had any idea why Fraser was in bed with me to start with. So, I counted to three and moved, shit and then the arms pressed even tighter against me.

“Where are you going, Ray? You need to lay still and get some more sleep, that way you’ll recover faster.”

“Frase, this is sortta freakin me out here, like why are ya in bed with me and…never mind.”

“Ray, I decided to sleep over on your couch to make sure you were okay and…”

“Yeah Frase, come on out with it.”

“You were having a nightmare Ray, I thought you might feel safe if I held you and you realized you wasn’t alone. I might also add, that it seemed to have the desired effect and you slipped back into a deep sleep, Ray.”

“Frase, erm I’m sortta naked here…”

“There’s no sort of about it, Ray, it would appear you removed the remainder of your clothes and must have being too warm.”

“Frase, I didn’t mean that. I meant you, me, and this bed.”

“I’m sorry but I don’t understand, Ray.”

“For god’s sake, we’re men Frase and I’m naked and you practically naked and…”

“Ray, please take a deep breath.”

“Ya telling me this don’t bother ya, Frase?”

“Ray, sometimes people have to do that when out in the middle of nowhere. It’s a way to stop hypothermia and sometimes it can mean the difference between life and death.”

“So ya see nothing wrong here, Frase?”

“No, Ray. Why does this bother you?”

“Yeah Frase, maybe if ya just let go of me I might be okay.”

“As you wish, Ray.”

Fraser let go of me and I felt the loss straight away, I just had to remind myself that this was Fraser and it was all part of life. There was nothing sexual in what he was doing, and I had to stop this before I molested him without him wanting me in that way. So, now I was laying on my back and willing my erection to fuckin go soft, there must be something I could think about, well other than Frase all hot and sweaty beside me. Hmm there was an idea, I rolled over towards the edge of the bed and got up.

“Ray, it’s late and you should sleep.”

“I’m too hot Frase and can’t sleep, I figured a quick shower might cool me down.”

“Very well, Ray.”

I was actually hoping the shower would cool me down in more ways than one, at least in the shower I could jerk off thinking about Fraser without him actually watching me. It wasn’t hard and I came within minutes, well I’m sure the image of us in bed together helped and would also fuel a few more fantasies too. This time I did put some boxers on and even added a tee shirt for good measure, especially as the Mountie had made no attempt to leave the bed and return to the couch.

I grabbed a glass of water and then returned to the bedroom to find Fraser fast asleep, well either that or he was faking it. The Mountie was good and you could never really tell one way or the other, not that it mattered as I’d just sleep as far away from him as was possible in a double bed. I would have to find a way to get Fraser to leave, maybe the consulate would need him and he could return to work. There was no way I could stay in this apartment with him day in day out and not touch him, also I had my own needs too to take care of. I guess I could always get Welsh to ask him to look over the case we’d been working on, especially as it was important and I wasn’t allowed. Right now, I would settle for anything, it was Friday tomorrow and I had places to be, and no way were a few bruises going to stop me from getting what I wanted.

Turns out I was lucky when morning came, as Fraser woke me and told me he was taking Dief out for a morning walk, that gave me the perfect opportunity to call Welsh and lay everything out on the line as I tried to save my sanity.

“Detective, it’s good to hear from you.”

“Sir, look I’m coming back Monday as I need to work.”

“You will have to deal with desk work for the first week, Vecchio.”

“Yeah I expected as much, I’m cool with that and I just need to be doing something.”

“Is Constable Fraser still with you?”

“Yeah and that’s the problem, he’s been at my side since it happened and I’m going mad here.”

“I take it there’s only so many Inuit stories you can hear?”

“Yeah, I figured you could get him to come in tomorrow and look at the Rossini case.”

“Very well, it’s something I wanted him to do so you should count yourself lucky, detective.”

“Yeah and thanks.”

“I will call him later today, then I will see you bright and early Monday morning detective.”

Welsh hung up and I thanked whatever gods had answered my prayers, at least Fraser would have to go back to the consulate tonight so he could get ready for work in the morning. Well my day never went as I wanted and that was nothing new, oh, Fraser went back to the consulate all right, yeah just to pick up some clothes and come straight back here. Now all I could do was pray for Friday morning to hurry up and arrive, as I’d be long gone before Friday evening rolled around and Fraser returned.

XXXXXXXXXX

I liked spending time with Ray and the rest was good too, just after a while he started to become restless and I should have expected it too. I also knew that Ray was planning to go back to work Monday morning and that in itself worried me, especially as he’d want to know all about the Rossini case and what was happening with regards to a conviction.

I knew I was going soft though and was getting too close to Ray in an intimate way, it didn’t help when I was unsure what he wanted and if he even wanted anything. We’d shared a bed but Ray had changed last night, he’d made sure he stayed as far away from me as possible and that hurt far more than I’d expected. I guess that was why I’d taken Dief for his morning walk, I’d later returned to find Ray really quiet and that was so unlike him. I presumed it was the case and him having no involvement in it, that was why I was rather pleased when Lieutenant Welsh asked me to go in on Friday morning.

The previous night was no different from the one before, Ray stayed at his side of the bed and was still asleep when I left to go to the precinct. I did wonder if Monday was far too soon for Ray to return to work, and to be honest I think it was me and I preferred having him here where I knew he was safe. I figured I’d take the spare key with me, that way I wouldn’t disturb Ray if he were still asleep when I returned later on. The station was busy as usual, well apart from the one desk in the corner that was vacant. Ray’s desk was in total disarray as usual and that made me smile somewhat, I contemplated tidying things up and knew it wasn’t worth it as it’d only annoy Ray.

I ended up having to sit at the messy desk and work around all the clutter, as all I wanted was enough space to open the file Welsh had given me upon my arrival. Turns out the witness who saw the man leave Ray’s apartment was very reliable, even in a line up she’d pointed out one of Rossini’s men. So, it would appear we would have the man that attacked Ray, but not Rossini himself. Ray knew this would happen, yet it still worried me that he’d try dealing with the man himself.

Well, it looked like I’d be spending my weekend with Ray so that I could keep him out of trouble. Henry Rossini had made an official complaint and Ray was to go nowhere near the man until it was dealt with. I hated the thought of Ray getting reprimanded for what he’d done, it didn’t seem fair when he was the one to already suffer at the hands of Rossini’s men, and now this.

That was one of the reasons I decided to keep what I knew to myself for now, Monday morning would come round soon enough and then Ray would know everything that had happened. Then Welsh called me into his office once more, I just hoped he’d make it quick as all I wanted to do was return to Ray.

“Sir.”

“Take a seat, Constable Fraser.”

“Is everything alright, Sir?”

“I thought you should know about Ray and the complaint that had been made against him.”

“I’m already well aware, Sir.”

“Yeah well so is Ray, the feds have contacted him to let him know this will go on his record.”

“That seems rather unfair, Sir.”

“Yes, it does Constable Fraser, I was hoping you would make sure Ray stays out of trouble and well away from Rossini.”

“Ah, understood. You think that he will seek revenge?”

“Ray Kowalski can be very volatile Constable, just make sure he stays at home and reports to me Monday morning.”

“As you wish, Sir.”

“I have Dewy working an angle and if it pans out Ray could come out of this okay, we just need to play Rossini at his own game.”

“I see, well I shall stay with Ray and make sure no harm comes to him.”

“I knew I could count on you, Constable.”

“Well, he is my friend and partner.”

“Yeah and you’re a good partner Constable Fraser, Ray should count himself lucky.”

“Thank you kindly, I will finish up here and then be on my way if that’s okay.”

“Yeah that’s okay, Fraser.”

I finished with the file and returned it to Welsh, then I had to go by the consulate and check that I wasn’t needed there anytime soon. Inspector Thatcher had agreed to my time off and she knew that I was looking after Ray, plus I figured it was Friday now anyway. Also, come Monday morning I planned to be at Ray’s side when he returned to work. I would also stay there until I was sure he was of sound mind; I had a feeling Ray would do something stupid the minute my back was turned.

I didn’t have to wait until Monday for that to happen though, I’d used Ray’s car to go to the precinct in as Ray wouldn’t need it for a few days, or so I thought. I arrived back at his apartment to find it all rather quiet, maybe Ray was still feeling tired and was asleep in the bedroom. It was only when I opened the bedroom door it hit me, Ray wasn’t even in the apartment and he’d already given me the slip.

My mind raced with all the places he could have gone, the main one was Rossini’s place. I knew Ray could be hot headed, but surely even he wouldn’t risk his career along with his life just for revenge? In the end I knew I had very little choice, I would have to go back out there and visit all the places that Ray could possibly go. Like I’d told Welsh earlier, Ray was my friend and my partner and that meant I’d stand by him no matter what he got himself into.

XXXXXXXXXX

I spent the day doing very little at all, well I had to save all my energy as I planned to make my trip out last the whole weekend. I planned to hit my usual club so that I could forget about everything. I wanted to forget what had happened to me, and I also wanted to forget about all the things that I couldn't have. I'd realized Fraser knew how to flirt and he was always the perfect gentleman, yet deep down that wasn't what I wanted.

I guess I was the type that liked to surrender to someone else and have them tell me what to do, someone who I could let do anything to me and I would trust them with my life. Hell, I trusted Fraser with my life, I just couldn't imagine myself asking him to whip me or even cuff me. Then I remembered the one time he had cuffed me, no I really shouldn't go down that path when I had plans. I guess now I knew why I wanted to be with someone like Stella, she was the one that had always made the rules and I was there to behave and do as she said.

In the end I showered and changed, then I called myself a cab and left without even leaving a note for Fraser to say where I were going. As of now this was my time and I got to do what I wanted, all the things that would make Fraser end our partnership should he find out. It was a Friday evening and the club was thriving well as I entered the place, I was then handed a clip board with a couple of forms attached for me to fill out. It wasn’t the first time I’d done this and I was a natural at it, the first one was my contact details and an emergency contact number.

I could never think of anyone to put in that part so I filled it in as I always had, the second form was a list of what I wanted and how far they could go and if I wanted a safe word. Once done, I had to return it to the desk and then take a seat amongst the others who were waiting, and I just sat when someone called my name.

“Stanley.”

“Hi Pete.”

“Do you want a familiar face tonight?”

“Why, who’ve ya got?”

“Tony’s here all weekend.”

“Great, greatness… I wanted to stay in one of the rooms if that’s okay, sortta make a weekend out of it?”

“Go wait in room six and I’ll send him along, and yeah I can arrange a room too.”

“Thanks’ Pete.”

I made my way to room six and then entered, I knew all the rules and what was expected of me so I got to it. First, I stripped out of all my clothes and then knelt on the floor with my head downwards facing the floor. The floor beneath my knees felt really cold and I had no idea how long I waited, yet I knew I was in no position to question anything that happened from here in. I’d filled out the form and I was to accept what I myself had requested, so I remained quiet when Tony entered the room and pulled my head up by my hair.

“Stand up Stanley, and put your hands in front of you.”

I did as he asked and watched as he opened the bag I’d brought with me, he then pulled out my own spare set of cuffs and used them on my own wrists. Tony then lifted my arms up and placed them over a hook that hung from the ceiling, now I hung here and knew I had to prepare myself for the rest. Soon Tony placed a blindfold over my eyes and a ball gag in my mouth, then he placed a set of earplugs inside my ears. Now I couldn’t see or hear anything, nor could I scream out when the whip finally came down hard against my backside.

I lost count how many times that whip hit my ass, Tony was good and I never knew when the next one would come or where it would land. Sometimes he could wait ages between each one, yeah I’d finally relax and that was when he would strike once more. The pain was immense and it turned me on beyond belief, then rough hands grabbed my ass and squeezed the abused tissue and it fuckin hurt. Yeah but it also turned my cock to stone, not that anything would happen for a few hours as the cock ring was fitted in place.

Tony finally removed the gag and the earplugs, it then took me a few minutes to get my breathing under control, along with my dick. I was pushing my body to the limit and I knew it, and it was such a fuckin rush that I’d never felt in any relationship I’d had before. Yeah well, how do you tell your partner that your fucked up without scaring them off before anything even gets going. Ha, maybe that was why I was still single and would never have a partner to worry about telling.

“Stanley, are you listening to me?”

“Yeah…”

“I’m going to leave you here alone and the blind fold will stay on, you will have some time to get yourself under control okay.”

“Yeah okay.”

I heard the door close and knew I was alone; I was as calm as it gets and all I wanted now was to get totally hammered. Alone just made me think of Fraser and how he’d behaved around me lately, great way to think when I was fastened here with a fuckin hard on. Also, it was time I realized the Mountie was off limits before I slipped up and said something I’d live to regret, that or I’d lose him for good. I had to just wait here and accept this was as close as I’d get to any form of sex, yet part of me also wanted someone to hold me and tell me that they loved me too.

XXXXXXXXXX

I’d drove over to where I knew I’d locate Rossini, and for once in my life I wasn’t in the mood to be polite or wait around until he was willing to see me. One of his men pointed a gun at me as I pushed past him, yet I was undeterred and told him he’d have to shoot me then as I was seeing his boss no matter what. I think he was actually amused by my wild side and actually walked towards Rossini’s office with me, he then had to move out of my way as I entered the room.

“What’s the meaning of this?”

“Sorry Boss, he refused to leave and I didn’t know if ya wanted me to kill a cop?”

“Most certainly not, well we should at least hear him out first.”

“Thank you kindly.”

“So, Constable Fraser, what is it that brings you here yet again?”

“I’m looking for my partner Ray Vecchio.”

“Yeah, I remember him, how could anyone forget someone like him…”

“Ray Vecchio is my partner and my friend; he also went missing sometime today.”

“So, would you care to explain what any of this has to do with me?”

“Well Ray did, oh how should I put this?”

“Your partner has issues Constable Fraser; he has a volatile temper that will land him in trouble one day.”

“Yes, well you have already put him in hospital with a serious head injury.”

“I would be careful with those accusations Constable; I don’t take to kindly to someone claiming I did something when there’s no proof.”

“Look the past is the past, I just want to know if you’ve done something to Ray and where he may be.”

“I can assure you that I haven’t set eyes on your partner, also I’m sure he learnt his lesson before and wouldn’t make that mistake again.”

“Understood.”

“Now I would appreciate it if you got the hell out of my office, and I don’t want to see you or your partner around here.”

I nodded my head and left as fast as I dare, I didn’t want to show any kind of weakness in front of a man like Henry Rossini. Now though, that still left questions unanswered as to the whereabouts of my partner. The only thing I could do was go back to his apartment and wait there to see if he returned, maybe I would call Lieutenant Welsh if he remained missing.

The apartment was exactly as I left it and there was still no sign of Ray, so I decided I would stay over and see if he returned in the morning. I don’t think it would be wise to sound an alarm too soon, after all Ray was a full grown man and allowed some space. I guess it bothered me that he’d left without telling me where he was going, especially as he knew I had his car and would be back sooner rather than later.

I was getting too used to having Ray all to myself, we worked together most days and then spent nearly all our free time together too. Hmm, then I thought back to that bag I’d found in the closet and what it contained. It would appear that Ray must disappear a lot on the rare nights we were apart, that made me wonder if he resented having me around so much.

That got me thinking, and I moved before I even realized what it was, I were doing. I went into Ray’s bedroom and opened the closet door, there on his shelf was an empty space where the bag had been. I sat down on the bed and tried to control my own temper, especially as I wasn’t the one known for my temper and sudden outbursts. I was annoyed with Ray, no, in all honesty I was livid with the man and what he’d gone and done.

Ray was supposed to be recovering and not going out galivanting all over the place, and like that was the only reason I was livid and angry with Ray. It was plain and simple; I was in love with Ray and I was jealous that he could go to a stranger in that way. To willingly go and let someone touch him and pleasure him, especially when I would have willingly given him anything he wanted. I ran my hand along the bed and imagined Ray laid out naked, cuffed and wanting me in every way possible. He would be moaning my name and begging me to let him come, not that I would though.

I had many dreams with regards to Ray, in each one I would take my time and keep Ray on the very edge until I was ready. I would torture him until he became lost with lust and need, great the only person I was torturing right now was myself. Okay so maybe it was wrong, yet I couldn’t help myself as I lay down on Ray’s bed and opened my own pants. I was hard and just thinking about Ray was all it took; then I came within seconds thinking of him cuffed and gagged before me. His gorgeous eyelashes framed his huge wild eyes that were filled with need, and also filled with all the love he had for just me.

Ray was mine and I would make him see that no matter what it took, and realistically it was only a matter of time before he came back home and would have to face me. Just the thought of smelling another man on him made me angry, it made me want to punish him and show him who it was that owned his heart, body and soul. I knew the best way for me to get through this was to remain busy, so I decided to clean the place up somewhat and maybe even wash all the bedding, I wanted everything to be right when I claimed Ray as mine.

XXXXXXXXXX

I spent my whole Friday evening having Tony keep me on edge without any release whatsoever, then finally he accepted that I’d had enough for now and it was time to finally let me come. I was still hung here and I knew my arms would be totally dead when I was finally released, then Tony decided to leave me where I were and there went that, instead he was now stood behind me and I felt his large hands on my ass once more, kneading the tender abused flesh. Fuck and then I nearly came as I felt something press against the tight hole, not that I could come until he decided to remove the cock ring and I knew that.

Then suddenly the object forced its way past the tight ring of muscle until it was fully inside me, he’d used very little lubricant at my request and it fuckin hurt like a bitch. So, I was breathing even harder now and my cock throbbed with need. Tony was far from gentle as he fucked me with the dildo and soon I was moaning out, and then he was hitting my prostate hard and I was practically sobbing right here where I hung.

Finally, Tony reached around and removed the cock ring letting me find some release. I couldn’t even stop myself from screaming out as my whole body shook and convulsed. Then he reached up and also lifted the cuffs back over the hook and lay me down on the floor, and finally my hands were free once more and I was relieved despite the pain I was in.

“Stanley…”

“What?”

“Move your arms around so the circulation returns. Then you can get dressed and join me at the bar if you want.”

“Yeah great, greatness.”

I sat where I was for some time just thinking about everything I did, oh and then I also thought about Fraser and what he’d think if he knew the real me. Yeah how his partner gets off on someone abusing him and tying him up, I had to face the fact that he would be disgusted with me despite how he loved me as a partner. I had to wonder at times, I could never figure out what he really wanted from me, and no way was I telling him what I wanted from him either.

I couldn’t even imagine telling Fraser that I was in love with him and had been for some time now, how it was really him that I wanted to fuck me into next week. Not that I even knew if Frase liked men in that way, plus Fraser could pull anyone with his looks. Who would want some skinny ass freak like me, well of course no one and that was why I came to places like this? Finally, I decided that it was time to move and get dressed so I could go out there and get drunk.

It was always the same when I made a weekend of it, get fucked and then drink myself unconscious. Tony was good at what he did and could do most of it with very little contact, my rules were made clear right from the start and no one would do anything I didn’t want. That was one of the reasons I liked this club, no one would touch me in a sexual way and I only got off using the things I’d brought with me. In other words, no one got to have sex with me as I only wanted one person and that wasn’t happening.

I started on the whiskey and soon knocked back a few glasses, the place was rather busy and a few of the customers tried to chat me up and get me to leave with them. That was when I knew it was time to get some sleep, I knew I would become restless and want more as I always did after drinking. Suddenly I was Ray the super slut and would let anyone fuck me, well that was until Fraser came along and then it all changed. I was pining for my partner, and I was willing to become a fuckin monk in the hope that one day he might want me.

Fraser never even saw me in a sexual way, oh he could come across as someone who looked interested. Yeah mainly because Fraser thought his behavior was normal, and also he didn’t see or realize the affect it had on me. I was socially inept when it came to Fraser, my mouth always got the better of me and I would say anything when I was flustered. Fraser was so fuckin clever and gorgeous, where I was just plain old me. It looked like the drink was having the opposite effect on me tonight, as I just became even more depressed with every mouthful and that was bad.

“Stanley, are you okay?”

“Yeah Tony, maybe I should get some sleep before I pass out right here.”

“Good idea, are you still staying here tonight?”

“Yeah, makes it easier to get up and do it all again tomorrow.”

“Yeah true, I take it there’s no one at home missing you?”

“Hey, would I come to a place like this if there was?”

“You’ll be surprised, some people are happily married and love their partners. Some people also have needs that their partner can’t accommodate, then there’s the ones that keep all of this a secret as it might disgust their partner should they know.”

“Yeah, I can see that now. I sortta thought things would be different with a partner, I had a wife and… never mind. I guess the drinks talking so I’ll call it a night, I’ll see you tomorrow Tony.”

“Yeah later Stanley.”

I lay on the bed thinking about what he’d said, and how so many different people came here to get what they wanted. I was faithful to Stella and wouldn’t have even considered something like this, part of me believed it was cheating despite no one had sex with me. Yeah, I was officially screwed in the head, especially as I thought of Fraser once more, could I show him I was interested in him and do this on a weekend without him knowing.

XXXXXXXXXX

I guess I was a Mountie on a mission now, and I wasn’t one to go lightly on my duties or what stood in the way of what I wanted. I guess it didn’t help that I woke up in Ray’s bed alone come Saturday morning, apparently Ray had seen fit to make a night of his little adventure and that thought put me in a bad mood. I was just trying to get my head sorted when Ray’s phone started to ring, now I had the dilemma of whether to answer it or not, after all this was not my apartment. Then I thought about Ray and how he might need me, I was so lost in thought and then the answering machine solved the dilemma for me.

“Detective Vecchio, it’s Lieutenant Welsh and I need a word with you regarding Rossini.”

Ray was off the case and my mind worked overtime wondering what he wanted, then I had to wonder why he’d never called me considering I was still on the case. Then I remembered where I were and that he might have called me at the consulate, well all I could do was give Welsh a call and see if it was urgent, or if I could be of some assistance.

“Lieutenant Welsh, it’s Constable Fraser.”

“Ah Constable, I just called the Consulate and Detective Vecchio’s place.”

“Yes, I heard the message Sir, I’m at Ray’s apartment right now.”

“Is it possible to speak to him?”

“He’s out Sir, I’m sure he’ll be back long before Monday morning Sir.”

“Ah well there lies the problem Constable.”

“Sir…”

“Rossini isn’t happy with either of you, so do me a favor Constable, stay away before I have to charge you with harassment.”

“Understood.”

“Also, can you tell Ray not to bother coming in on Monday.”

“What, sorry I don’t understand Sir.”

“Detective Vecchio will be given a verbal warning and made to take a week off without pay, I’m sorry but he has left me no choice and he’s getting off easy at that.”

“Yes Sir, I’m sure Detective Vecchio will learn from this.”

“I doubt it Fraser, I’m sure he could do with a strong hand at times and maybe then he’d learn some discipline, I’m sure you agree with me on this Constable?”

“Very much so, yes.”

I hung up the phone and found myself sat on the couch thinking, so it would appear that Ray really did need some discipline in his life and as his partner it fell to me. I wasn’t willing to stand back and watch as Ray lost his job, and I most certainly wouldn’t wait until he ended up getting himself killed because of his reckless behavior.

I realized that I could do very little until Ray returned, and it wasn’t as if I could go out there and get him right now. I had no idea where he was or who he was with, no I didn’t want to think about all that right now. I would only torment myself if I thought of Ray in bed with someone else, it was bad enough just thinking about him with Stella and I’d always feel that way. The woman was so nasty to him and that annoyed me, she had this nasty habit of belittling him and kicking him while he was down.

Ray needs a firm hand to guide him in life and it’s what makes him the man he is, yet Stella used that to her own advantage. The women hardly even looked at Ray like a human being, never mind the fact he was a man that she had supposedly loved for many years. I guess that was why I could never like her, well not that I’d let it be known as Ray was far too important to upset in that way.

In the end I’d gone back to the consulate and taken Dief for a long walk, it felt good to actually get some fresh air and prepare myself mentally for the job I’d soon have to do. I was thankful that Turnbull had agreed to watch Dief for me, I did explain to him that Ray was still under the weather and I had to do some shopping. I guess I was also taking advantage of Ray’s car while I could as it made shopping far easier. Normally I would pick up just a few things, however it would appear Ray was running out of all the basics.

I got carried away inside the store and it would have been hard to carry it all back, I’d even bought plenty of candles along with s bag of ice, Oh and then I’d decided to buy some chocolate too as Ray loved chocolate. Maybe I could melt it down and pour it all over his gorgeous body, and then I would proceed to lick every single bit of it off him as he squirmed beneath me. Okay, so maybe this was a bad time to be thinking like this, especially as me jeans were no becoming rather uncomfortable.

I drove back to Ray’s apartment and wondered if he would be home, and how I would have to get him to see things my way. Not that it mattered though, as the apartment was still silent and exactly how I’d left it earlier on. I made myself useful and soon managed to have all the shopping put away, I then went into the bedroom and put all the freshly washed bedding back on Ray’s bed so it was nice and clean. Once done, I placed the candles in various locations and left them there ready to light later on when Ray was home.

I’d become obsessed with what I wanted and damned with the consequences, especially as there was a good chance Ray might decide to kick me in the head. As far as I was concerned, Ray wanted me and he wanted me to do things that he didn’t dare ask for. It was just finding a way to make him see I wanted the same as he did.

XXXXXXXXXX

I fell asleep and dreamt that Fraser wanted me, he wanted to be my partner in every way possible. He would make love to me and then hold me in his arms afterwards, it was as if he wanted to wrap me in cotton wool and keep me safe from the whole world. I loved how he was with me and I didn’t want to change that, yet part of me wanted something more, so my dream shifted and suddenly I was back in the club once more. I would be whipped and made to suffer until I couldn’t take anymore, and it was a huge turn on and exactly what I wanted. Well, until the dream changes and Fraser walks into the club and sees me hung there.

Fraser looks so upset and disappointed with me, then he’s telling me how I disgust him and how he no longer wants to be with me. I’m pathetic and should be ashamed of myself, then I realize I’m nothing as Fraser turns away and walks outta my life forever. Shit that’s when I wake up covered in sweat and realize it was a dream, yeah, a dream that held plenty of truths though. Fraser would hate me for what I did and that was just as my work partner, the pain felt real and it was as if he’d really walked out on me too.

I felt lost and the weekend was not going to plan at all, I’d wanted it to be a fun and for me to forget about Fraser, and that wasn’t happening. I was really depressed and this time it was different, maybe it was the blow to the head and having Fraser with me for days on end. I guess I was going soft and was getting used to having him around all the time, and he was always so close and in my space. Yeah, I guess now I was realizing just how close he got at times, sometimes he was so close that I could kiss him and that wasn’t good. Also, it hadn’t helped when he put me to bed and had stripped me, yeah, I bet the bastard knew I had no underwear on.

I couldn’t even think straight and that was Frasers fault, as he always gave off mixed signals that caused my head to hurt even more. Part of me wanted him to come on to me and I believed he was a times, then I remembered he was Canadian and they didn’t behave like that. I knew I was just torturing myself and going round in circles, that was why I decided to get drunk once more. Normally I wouldn’t drink until night and after I’d got what I needed, yet this time I did it the opposite way around and that wasn’t one of my brightest ideas either.

I was drunk when I returned to the room and Tony, yet he had no problem cuffing me once more and putting me where I needed to be. To be honest, the alcohol actually blunted the pain and I just kept demanding more from him. Tony finally told me that he wasn’t prepared to bring blood using the whip, and now it was time to move this game one step up. Tony reached around and grabbed my cock so he could use the cock ring on me, not that he needed it as I were far too soft and wouldn’t be coming tonight. Shit, now I remembered why I always drank after the main event and I had to wonder if he too would leave me.

“Stanley, do you want me to call this off. You could lay down and get some sleep, we could always try again later.”

“No, I don’t want ya to stop, just use the dildo and fuck me hard.”

“Hey, it’s your dollar man.”

Great, remind me that I’m paying for this, that the only time I get something like this is by paying for it. Most people go out and have a relationship, I Raymond Kowalski have to buy affection because I’m pathetic and can’t have a normal fuckin relationship. Then suddenly it didn’t seem to matter what I wanted and no one ever listened to me anyway, even Tony was removing the cuffs and I knew this was all over.

“Please, Tony.”

“Hey, I’m just moving you over to the bed okay, that way it doesn’t matter if you pass out afterwards.”

“Yeah I get that, it’s not yer fault I’m pathetic.”

“Stanley just move, and believe me when I say I’ve dealt with far worse customers than you.”

“Jeez, thanks I guess.”

Tony let me over to the bed and told me to lay down on my stomach while he got things ready, part of me wanted nothing more than to fall asleep and forget about everything, then Tony spoke and I remembered where I was. I’d paid for the weekend and should make the most of this while I was here, especially as I’d have to deal with Fraser come Sunday. Fuck I’d walked out on him and I knew he wouldn’t be happy, shit then all thoughts of Fraser fled when I felt Tony force the dildo inside me once more.

I was actually surprised when my cock started to tingle and then became hard despite the drink. Not that I was complaining though, especially as this time I wasn’t restrained or wore a cock ring. Tony must have figured I wouldn’t need one in my drunk state, well it just made it easier to slip my hand underneath me and jerk myself off. As I knew Tony was right and I really did need to sleep this off and soon, my head was pounding now and I’d never suffered a headache this bad before. Maybe the drink wasn’t such a good idea, especially after a recent stay in hospital for a head injury.

Soon I was coming all over my hand and that was all that mattered right now, then I forgot where I was and went to get up and clean myself off. I guess Tony got a laugh at my expense as I staggered towards the bathroom, not that I cared what he thought of me. My weekend was nearly over and it was time to sleep this off before I went home, so once clean I staggered back out towards the bed and sleep. Well that was until I misjudged my footing and slipped, the last thing I remembered was my head hitting the metal bed frame.

XXXXXXXXXX

I had gone to so much trouble to make the bedroom nice for Ray, I’d fallen for the man in a big way and I’d never felt this bad with anyone before, not even Victoria. There was something special about Ray and the hold he seemed to have over my emotions. I was still sat there thinking about him and wondering when he’d come back home, then the phone rang and I finally had some answers to the whereabouts of Ray.

“This is a message for Ray Vecchio, someone named Stanley Kowalski gave this as his emergency contact number. I’d be grateful if you could call back when you get this message, erm it’s just he needs someone to collect him from the club.”

Now I was angry again with Ray, the man was a detective and should know far better than to do what he’d done. He had given his own phone number as his emergency contact knowing no one would answer or come to his rescue. Ray must be ashamed of what he was doing, otherwise he would have given my details and the number of the consulate. Well that was just another lesson I would have to teach him, finally I called the number back and got the address for the club which was only twenty minutes away in his car.

Now I was really thankful that I had Ray’s car, I was also thankful that I was in normal civilian clothing too. I could not have risked going there in my uniform as that would have raised far too many questions, well I could have pretended Ray was into the Mountie look. Hmm, maybe he really was and I just hadn’t realized. Eventually I parked right outside the club and prepared myself to enter, and straight away the smell of sex assaulted my sense of smell and that wasn’t good right now. I didn’t want to think of Ray like that until I had him back home, so I went up to the desk so I could deal with the reason I was here.

“May I help you?”

“I’m Ray Vecchio and I received a call regarding Stanley Kowalski.”

“Yeah I’m Tony and I’m the one who called.”

“So, may I enquire as to the state of Stanley, as I presume there’s a reason I was called?”

“Yeah, he drank too much and he’s out cold at the moment.”

“I see, well I would be grateful if you could take me to him.”

“Yeah, this way.”

“Thank you kindly.”

I was led towards the back of the building and in to a small room, there on the bed lay Ray looking rather worse for wear. My eyes took in his gorgeous nearly naked body and straight away my body reacted to him, thankfully he was at least wearing some underwear. Tony handed me a bag with all of Ray’s belongings and I took it to the car, I then retrieved a blanket and went back to get Ray. It was times like this that I was thankful he was so skinny and it made things somewhat easier, not that my back thought that way as I gave him a fireman’s lift.

In the end I had no choice but to manhandle Ray as I put him in the passenger side of the car with the seat reclined, at least he would look as if he were asleep to anyone passing. As I was sure he wouldn’t be happy if the Chicago PD pulled us over, and neither would I for that matter. Then getting him out was even harder as I had no one to help me, and I was just surprised that he was still out of it when I dropped him down on his own bed. Ray did moan now and again which reminded me that he was okay, and at least he wasn’t in a coma or anything like that. I suppose it did make me realize one other thing though, it would only be a matter of time now before he woke up and realized where he was.

First, I made sure Ray was laid on his stomach as I checked him over, he appeared to be relatively unharmed other than a few light marks on his back and wrists. Ray smelt of sex though and I wanted to make sure he was clean before I touched him, he was mine and I didn’t want the scent of another man on him. Soon, I had him all clean and now he lay there totally naked and making a bit more noise than before. So, I opened the bag that Ray had taken with him knowing that he had a spare set of cuffs in there, then I had one wrist secured to the headboard. Then that was when I went into the main room and retrieved the pair Ray used for work, what a picture he now made as both his wrists were cuffed to the headboard and I had him where I wanted him.

It was time to leave Ray alone for now though, I’d spent the last two hours lugging Ray around and was now in need of a shower myself, and the shower also gave me time to get my own body under control too. I figured things with Ray wouldn’t last long when I was so turned on, and having Ray so close would practically guarantee me coming within seconds. The only way around it was to pleasure myself as I showered, not that it was hard when all I had to do was think of Ray laying on the bed like some sacrifice. I knew I wanted to spend hours with him as I both punished and pleasured his delectable body, I would make Ray realize that I could give him far more than some stranger at a club, Ray would want me to do it again and would always want more, and there was only one main concern that I had when it came to Ray.

I knew that he was a very sensual person and he loved touching me, sometimes I don’t think even he realized how much he touched me. Ray was also obviously into the sex games and sex with men, I just wondered if he could still actually love someone again after Stella, also if that someone could possibly be me.

XXXXXXXXXX

I drifted in and out of sleep, sleep was better though as my head was pounding and I felt really sick. God and then I remembered where I were and that made me feel even more like shit than I already did, not that I could be surprised considering the life I led and what I’d had to resort to. That was why I decided to keep my eyes shut for a while and hope that sleep would claim me once more, I wasn’t ready to deal with Tony again right now, and I knew the depression was far worse this weekend and I’d fucked up everything.

Fraser had gone to work and presumed I’d be home when he got back, and I’d ran off because I couldn’t deal with my feelings and having him so close to me all the time. I guess that was another reason why I wanted to lay here and forget about the rest of the world, yeah because I was a coward and didn’t want to face Fraser and his many questions. Well what could I say to him, and where could I tell him that I’d gone for all that time.

Fuck it, in the end I decided to let Tony know I was awake so we could deal with all of this, then that way I could go and face the music so to speak. So, I forced my eyes to open and then everything hit me full on, and this was not what I was expecting and now I was totally lost once more. This was my own bed and I was in my own apartment, that was the least of my worries though as I tried to get out of the bed.

I was cuffed to the fuckin bed and was starting to panic now, where the hell was Fraser and how the hell had I got here without even knowing anything about it. The only light in the room came from the many candles that were burning, shit I had to breathe and get myself under control. I could deal with where I was, it was the restraints and the fact that I was naked that bothered me the most. Okay, so I was restrained with two pairs of cuffs that were most likely my own, so that would suggest someone had brought me back home.

Then I remembered that no one there knew my address or anything about me, hell they didn’t even have an emergency contact for me either. Maybe if I made some noise someone would come, then panic took over and I actually started yelling until the door opened. Fuck no, none of this could be real as Fraser wouldn’t have me on the bed all naked and restrained like this.

“Ray, please be quiet, that or I will have to gag you.”

“Take the fuckin cuffs of me Frase or else, you can also tell me how the fuck I got here too?”

“Language, Ray.”

“Do not do that Frase, I’m this close to kicking ya in the head…”

“Ray, you know that you can’t do that at the moment. And for your information, I was the one that brought you home, Ray.”

“What, how the fuck did ya know where I was?”

“Only you could go to a club as Stanley Kowalski and claim Ray Vecchio was your emergency contact.”

“You were here, oh shit that means ya know everything.”

“Oh yes, I know far more than you think, Ray.”

“So whatcha want now Frase, look just cut the mumbo jumbo and remove the cuffs.”

“Why would I want to do that, Ray?”

“Frase…”

“Ray, I want to ask you two questions first, and I want you to be totally honest with your answers.”

“Fine, whatever.”

“Do you want me in a sexual way?”

“Fuck, yer putting me on the spot here, Frase.”

“Ray please answer, I already know and I just want to hear you say it.”

“Yeah, I want ya….”

“Good, also I need to know if you trust me, Ray.”

“I trust ya with my life, Frase.”

“Enough to let me do what I want to you, Ray? I promise that no more harm will come to you than would of at the club.”

“Yeah, I trust ya enough, Frase.”

“Good, we will get one thing straight from the start though, Ray.”

“Yeah what’s that?”

“You belong to me and only I will punish you from now on, do you understand that, Ray?”

“Yeah.”

I was starting to think I’d gone mad, that or this was still some fucked up dream I was stuck in. Shit I’d just agreed to let Fraser do whatever he wanted to me and told him I wanted him in a sexual way. Then I had to wonder when he said I belonged to him, possessive much! Then suddenly I was brought back to reality when his hand struck my backside hard, one look at Frase and I realized he looked rather angry now and I appeared to be the one that made him look that way.

“Frase, whatcha doin?”

“We will deal with your punishment first Ray; you will have to suffer the pain if you want the pleasure.”

“Shit, whatcha punishing me for, Frase?”

“You have put yourself at Risk Ray and that’s not acceptable, you ran off knowing you had recently suffered a head injury. You also made sure no one knew where you were, on top of that you went to a sleazy club and let other men have sex with you.”

“What, like fuck did I do that, Frase…”

“Language Ray, and lying will make you suffer even more.”

“Frase, ya gotta believe me, I didn’t let any of them fuck me…”

Oh shit, Frase slapped my ass once more and it was far harder this time. Then he came and knelt at the side of the bed and looked at me, there was nowhere to hide as he knelt there watching my face like he was searching for something. Yeah, he was searching for something all right, Frase was searching for the truth and he knew I couldn’t lie to his face.

“Very well, I believe you, Ray.”

“Thank god…”

“You will still be punished for your reckless behavior though.”

I closed my eyes and decided to just let him get on with it, I was even starting to wonder what had happened to the real Fraser and who this imposter was. Well I had to admit that I liked this one though, especially as this was a side of Fraser I’d only ever dreamt about.

XXXXXXXXXX

I couldn’t believe that I had Ray like this and he was willing to let me do as I pleased, then a thought crossed my mind and I knew I’d have to ask him about other things. Ray had gone to the club looking for punishment and things had gone no farther, where as I did want things between us to go much farther and for it to be permanent.

First, I had to deal with his punishment, I could still see the marks from the whip and would have to go easy on him for now. That meant it would have to be my hand, I liked the idea of touching his warm tender skin and that was what made this far better than using something on him. Ray jumped as my hand made contact twice more, then I grabbed the hot flesh and squeezed it in my hand. I’d never expected him to be so responsive and his moaning was really turning me on now, and I was so hard despite my recent activities in the bathroom.

I marked him a couple times more and loved the idea of leaving my mark upon his body, then I couldn’t help myself as I leant over him and bit his shoulder hard. The response from him was instant and now he was trying to hump the mattress, that was when I realized it was time to take a step back so we could both have a moment to breathe.

“Frase, whatcha doin?”

“Ray, we need to talk.”

“Ya gotta be shittin me Frase, talk about picking the worst time possible…”

“Please hear me out, Ray.”

“Make it quick then Frase, I ain’t getting any younger here.”

“I’ve always wanted you, Ray.”

“Ya have me Frase, so what’s the problem.”

“I thought you were straight Ray, then you sent me here to get some of your clothes and I found that bag.”

“What, oh shit. So ya knew before ya even came and stayed here, yet you never said anything to me. Shit that’s so not buddies Frase.”

“Ray your blathering, I wasn’t ashamed by what I saw, it just made me want more and even hope there might be a chance with you.”

“You could have had me if you’d opened yer mouth Frase.”

“Can I have you in the way I want, Ray? You said that I can do anything to you and you’d allow it.”

“Yeah, and…”

“I want to do things with your body, Ray, I want to take you right to the edge and then afterwards make love to you.”

“Oh shit.”

“Ray, you have to listen to me, I won’t touch you in that way unless you tell me it’s what you want. So, tell me what you want, Ray?”

“Hell, yeah it’s what I want, it’s what I’ve always wanted for a long time.”

I had to wonder if it was just sexual, oh I was well aware that Ray loved me in a certain way too. I vowed that soon I would find out just how much he really loved me, I guess I had to know if he were in love with me and wanted me as his lover.

“Ray, you have to trust me okay?”

“I do trust ya, Frase.”

“I want to blindfold you Ray, then I will leave you alone for a few minutes while I get some things I’ll need.”

“Yeah I’m cool with that Frase, just make sure ya don’t forget about me though.”

“That would never happen, Ray.”

I found a scarf and covered Ray’s eyes, this way he wouldn’t know what to expect and it would keep him on edge as I played with his body. Once done, I went into the kitchen and filled a tub with plenty of ice. I also filled a pan with boiling water and placed a dish on top. I then filled the dish with some chocolate so that it could start melting, that way it would be ready right when I needed it to be. I was only gone for about five minutes and then I returned to the bedroom and Ray, as now I had everything and it was time to show Ray the me that hardly anyone ever got to see. The first thing I did was walk over to the bed and then I kissed his cheek, I also purposely dropped a few ice cubes along his spine and listened to his curses.

Ray soon got over it though when my warm tongue started lapping up the water as it melted, then I also dropped a few along the crack of his backside and watched them melt, soon I was also licking that water up too and then I couldn’t miss out on the opportunity before me. I parted his ass cheeks and then had the tip of my tongue pressed against his tight little hole.

“Oh fuck.”

I couldn’t tell Ray off for his language right now, my tongue was now so deep inside him and I felt like I was in heaven, to have Ray so far gone and moaning at my touch was everything I’d ever wanted. I pushed my tongue in and out, each time forcing it farther inside until it would go no farther. Then I suddenly pulled away and Ray started protesting, so I decided to give him something to moan about. I grabbed a few of the ice cubes and slipped them inside his warm body one by one, Ray was so hot and they were practically melting as fast as they entered. All that did was make me more determined, even my fingers were freezing now and I couldn’t resist slipping one inside him. Ray would have jumped off the bed if it wasn’t for the restraints, well I was determined that I wasn’t ending this just yet and Ray would have to learn the hard way.

I guess I just wanted to experience everything I could with the man I loved, and I was also worried that this might be a one time thing and Ray wouldn’t want to do it again. So, I was determined to show him what sort of a lover I was, and also make Ray realize he needed me just as much as he needed the air to breathe.

XXXXXXXXXX

I’d never experienced anything like this before and Fraser was even better than the men at the club who charged, all that time I’d had to pay and there was Frase far better at the job, shit way better looking too. Frase was like a wet dream come true, and I’d worked with him every day and never knew he was really like this underneath.

“Ray, Ray, Ray are you listening to me?”

“Sorry, I was a little lost there, Frase!”

“I’m going to uncuff you and then I want you to turn over.”

It took me a minute to register what he was saying to me, then he released my arms and the pain was suddenly unbearable as the circulation stated to return. Frase even had to help me turn over and he rubbed my arms for me, then he made his move and my brain registered what it was he was doing to me. Fraser cuffed my arms back to the bed despite my protests, then the bastard went and slipped the fuckin cock ring on to my throbbing erection.

“That’s so not buddies, Fraser.”

“Well, right now I have no intention of being your buddy. Especially when I can be your lover instead, Ray.”

“Cool.”

Then I felt Frasers mouth come down on my own and I couldn’t breathe as he kissed me, the kiss was full of passion and it also filled my mouth with the taste of chocolate. I would have kissed Frase without the taste, but chocolate was my other secret thing I yearned for beside Fraser. Oh god, and then I felt the warm liquid trail down my stomach and then all over my groin, and right behind the trail was Fraser and that tongue of his. Shit and I thought about how he licked things in the past and I’d complained, well never again.

“Frase, ya killing me here…”

“Patience, Ray.”

“Oh fuck.”

I felt as Fraser pressed a couple of fingers deep inside my ass as fucked me with them, then they were gone and I wanted to cry in frustration. Even more so when I felt nothing and couldn’t even see what was happening either. Then it was as if all my dreams came true at once, I felt something nudge against my ass and knew that it wasn’t just his fingers now. Then the pain came and was short lived as he pushed his cock inside me and forced it past the tight ring of muscle, Fraser worked up a rhythm and was giving it everything that he had as he pushed deep inside me, each time he hit my prostate and I couldn’t even come.

Fraser started to tense up and I knew it was only a matter of seconds before he came, and that meant he’d remove the cock ring and I’d be allowed to come. Then this was Fraser after all and he had to do everything different, the man was determined to push me over the edge and I had no idea if I’d even return from it. I felt wrung out and desperate with need. Fraser came alright and then he just collapsed on top of me, and at first, I didn’t even know whether to laugh or cry about it.

“Frase please, I really need to come.”

“Soon, Ray.”

“What, ya can’t be fuckin serious, Frase…”

“Deadly serious, Ray.”

Fraser moved off me and that was a start, then it took my brain a few seconds to register once more. I could tell that Fraser was now sat over me and his ass was pressed against my erection. The bastard knew what he was doing and he was getting off on tormenting me, then suddenly my cock was engulfed in a warm heat as Fraser sat back and forced my erection deep inside his own tight sweet ass.

This was so fuckin hot, who’d have guessed Fraser was such a slut under that Mountie uniform. A Mountie that actually wanted my skinny ass, not that I was going to question that right now, or ever as this was what I’d wanted for so long. Then suddenly Fraser was moving and he was releasing my arms once more and the pain returned, that was when I also realized he was removing the cock ring too and there was no stopping me as I came. My arms throbbed along with my cock and I was suffering an over load of senses right now, then it was all too much and I passed out from all the stimulation.

I came too and the room was rather dark now, all the candles had burnt away and I presumed it was late. I was worried that I might wake up and find myself alone, that it might have been a dream and I’d never have Fraser again. This though was far better; I’d woke to find myself in his arms and I soon realized he was awake and watching me.

“It’s good to have you back, Ray.”

“Frase, shit I don’t know what to say.”

“Just say that you’re alright, I want to know you’re okay with what we did.”

“Hell yeah, I’m way better than okay, Frase.”

“Ray, would you do it again, with me that is?”

“Jeez Frase, I can’t believe ya need to even ask that.”

“Because I love you Ray, and I don’t think I can let you go now.”

“Frase, what makes you think I want ya to let me go…”

“Do you really mean that, Ray?”

“Frase it works two ways ya know, I’ve loved you for ages and just thought ya were straight amongst other things.”

“Hmm, amongst what other things?”

“I thought, hell I still think yer too good for me Frase, what the hell do I have to offer ya, I’m just a skinny Chicago cop with experimental hair.”

“Oh Ray, you really think very little of yourself. It’s an honor to have someone like you love me. Especially as you love with your whole heart, you’re a passionate man Ray who loves with everything you have and will fight for what everyone you love.”

“Wow, Frase. No one has ever had that much to say about me, not even Stella and we were together for years.”

“Never underestimate what your worth Ray, also I love your hair too by the way.”

“Yer a freak, Frase.”

“Yes, and I’m yours Ray, I just need you to promise me one thing though...”

“Anything Frase.”

“No more trips to the club or letting others give you what you need, as I’m here and will give you anything you want or need, Ray.”

“Well with an offer like that…Seriously though, I only went there because I had no one else, Frase.”

“Good, otherwise I might have to punish you.”

“Hey, that will make me want to do bad things, Frase.”

“Go to sleep, Ray.”

“Will ya be here when I wake up, Frase?”

“Ray, I will be here every day when you wake up if that’s what you want. I’ll also be here every night to hold you as you fall asleep.”

“Yeah it’s what I want, Frase.”

How could I not want that, the man of my dreams in my bed every night with me, and then there every time I woke up and opened my eyes. Fraser had made my heart beat far faster from the very first day I’d met him, now he owned it and it was his, as without him I was nothing and never would be again. I moved closer to Frase and wrapped m arms around his warm body, and for the first time in years I had what I wanted and needed. Also, I would need to get plenty of sleep so I could return the favor, I was after all good at giving back as much as I received and just hoped Fraser was up for it.

Tell Me What You Want

By CarolelaineD


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